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13 January 2010 @ 02:59 pm
You know I sometimes I look at what I've written here in the past and its like looking at a ghost. Looking at what I used to be, old friends, feelings and obsessions for things I no longer care about, an era long gone. It's a strange feeling. I'm always on here seeing what my friends are up to, but I never write anything here. Sometimes people write about what happened to them during the day, or what their dreams are and such. I never felt comfortable writing that. I don't mind talking about such stuff in person, but I find it so difficult to convey such thoughts and emotion over such inorganic and plain text. I'm not sure what triggered me to write this, its a lot of this is babble towards the end you might not be interested in, but first lets have with whats up with me, since I haven't updated in so long:

Things with me be have been fine, and thats the word I would use, "fine". I have stable employment here at the School District, and good benefits, but my yearly salary is a joke, I make half of what a first year teacher makes, and some of those rookie teachers are my age now. It's rather upsetting, I do like my job, I just wish it paid more.
Stevie is has been unemployed for a year now, I really don't know what lies in the future for him in regards to his professional life. About a month from now, on 2.20, Stevie and I will have been together now for 3 years. We definitely are going to move in together sometime its just this time we live now with the state of the economy, makes that difficult.

In the summer of 2008 my political viewpoints underwent a Volte-face. I used to be a liberal democrat but these days I have been obsessed with Austrian economics and politics, I suppose reading Atlas Shrugged back then had a part in that. After I finished the book the economy tanked and the feds passed the TARP bailout programme, kind of ironic, almost like a sign from god. I also have become obsessed with political philosophy, I'm fascinated as to why people hold certain political viewpoints. There is no place better to study human behaviour than in politics, as all the facades of politeness come off, and the worst qualities of people show. Its an incomplete idea of mine, but I've theorized that those who favour collectivist strong arm government interventionist tactics, (democrats, socialists, and the like) are manipulative people by nature due to a psychological defect. Not to say that any human is perfect, we are infallible beings complete with many flaws, but the mindset of the liberal seems bent on molding society into the Utopia of their dreams. Perhaps it is because these liberals have experienced events in their life that mentally scarred them and thus they have become dedicated to preventing harm to others. Therefore they decide that with their perceived superior intellect, they will decide what is truly best for society.

To challenge their views would mean opposing  assistance for X pity group (The poor, Children, etc) "and how dare you oppose group X, you really hate X dont you." ad homenim etc. They use such attacks to appeal to emotion so that people will be so offended that they cannot be reasoned with. They are enamored with cultural Marxism and the idea that western culture must be dismantled(Read about the Frankfurt School) because it is inadequate to address the issues such as race, cultural oppression, etc Therefore a new culture must be created by the so called "intellectuals" and the new culture will be a Utopian culture where no specific group will be in conflict with another. The underlying message is that the state lead by the right enlightened individuals will lead to the perfect Utopian world. In reality though, no human is perfect, there are no omnipotent enlightened humans to take us down the road to utopia. Spontaneous order and the invisible hand of the free market empowers individuals to take the necessary voluntary actions to help their fellow man. This is the superior method of helping the poor and needy, and other groups who need the help of society. Despite what people tell you, I believe that overall human's are charitable by nature, and good at heart. The controls needed to stop the perceived ills of society through centralized government would create chaos and problems worse than than whatever it is they seek to prevent, and/or fix.

But I digress, this is the mentality of general public, and our currently elected leaders. Politicians will tell us we are heading down the Road to Utopia, but so long as we are fed well, and have plenty of distractions to prevent us from seeing reality as it is, we will be content as living as easily distractable serfs. No, we are not on the road to utopia, but instead as F.A Hayek predicted in 1944, we are headed down the Road to Serfdom.

also The sense of entitlement is also another thing that bugs me. Example:
Socialist: "I am entitled to _____________. Therefore I require you give me ______________. How dare you say I dont deserve _________, don't push your morals on me!" 
When you try to counter their demands, the response is like that of a brat stomping their feet on the ground demanding "I want ____________! and I won't move and I will make as much noise until i Get ___________!" but thats another topic, lol 
Current Mood: contentcontent
14 December 2009 @ 09:59 am
Happy Christmas season! :]
20 August 2009 @ 09:16 pm
Lol Youtube Ads are the best.
10 August 2009 @ 08:20 pm
I should update this more...

LOL I love the line "And now, you can be out front, struttin your stuff with the new Kx5 midi controlled touch sensitive remote keyboard."
Current Mood: amusedamused
07 March 2009 @ 02:12 am
Just popping in to say that I came in and changed the layout while Spencer was sleeping. I'm... I'm really proud of it, I think it's beautiful and I hope that he wakes up happy to it. Seeing as I'm the one with insomnia. ♥

Anyway, please tell him it looks nice?

23 March 2008 @ 09:46 pm
Ok so like its easter! HAPPY EASTER

Anyways its the end of spring break, I suck at summarizing whats happening in my life but i like to try.

Stevie came to my place in Allentown after he came back from hong kong and that makes me so happy, its hard to say why, but its nice to have a family celebration with stevie at it. I write alot about him dont I? Its odd but I guess it should be expected, I remember when he and I first started talking over the phone Id ask him odd questions like "What do you like about me such much?" It was a long time ago but its interesting to reminisce.

Anyways he came back from Hong Kong, and I fed him FATTY AMERICAN FOODZ :D Like Cheesesteaks and Chili dogs, MY FAVOURITE. So he and I have been hanging out here, and my parents like him alot stil which is cool.

Anyways not much is really new, school is a bit easier this time around but still a bitch, can't wait to get out.

Uhm so writing entries is hard, lol i forgot why i dont do it much.

The grammar sucks but im not checking it im just writing stuff that comes to mind as it just feels more natural.

I really want to have good future with Stevie, its what I want, I also want to just have more friends and to strengthen the relationships with the friends i have now. I feel I put too much aside since ive been with Stevie.

I kinda sound like a kid writing about all this, maybe its a immature, i dont know, but im happy right now, I want it to last forever and ever, but stevie has to leave tomorrow morning and I have to go back to school tomorrow :/ orz
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: ABS - Down to you
04 October 2007 @ 09:26 pm
I haven't written here in awhile so I think its time for update.. I was sent a poem from Stevie, and I wanted to put my interpretations here.

" Aunt Jennifer's Tigers

Aunt Jennifer's tigers prance across a screen,
Bright topaz denizens of a world of green.
They do not fear the men beneath the tree;
They pace in sleek chivalric certainty.

Aunt Jennifer's finger fluttering through her wool
Find even the ivory needle hard to pull.
The massive weight of Uncle's wedding band
Sits heavily upon Aunt Jennifer's hand.

When Aunt is dead, her terrified hands will lie
Still ringed with ordeals she was mastered by.
The tigers in the panel that she made
Will go on prancing, proud and unafraid.

Adrienne Rich"

It starts of pretty strange. Tigers Prancing across the screen? Ill get to the tigers later...

The denizens of world green. The privative world, the pre-industrial era, the world full of forests and wildlife "green". The men beneath the tree represent the evils of Industrial society and patriarchy. However in the next line the tigers are seeming unphased by society as they continue to "pace" chivalrously, they are remnant from an era long gone.

The 2nd paragraph goes into the world of Aunt Jennifer and how Patriarchy/her uncle, is oppressing her. By the third paragraph Aunt Jennifer is dead. But the world of environmentalism/eco-primitivism/feminism that she illustrated, is still carried on by the tigers who represent the world Aunt Jennifer created.

Anyways thats finished. Lets talk about life, meaning my life.

Not much is new. Well some stuff is. Like always, I am concerned about my future. Stevie and I attended Digital life this past weekend when I was up visiting him. I also helped him at the New-york tokyo booth. On the way to the Digital Life convention in th e taxi Stevie mentioned "Do you really want to get into network security, like is that what you want do with life?" I thought about it.. and it boggles me. All of this was prompted by Stevie who mentioned that I knew a lot about Video game marketing/history. He suggested I do some sort of work in the video game field, like management or marketing. Which sounds appealing to me. Lets put it this way. For awhile now Ive struggled if whether I should continue studying to be a System Administrator. I've loved video games so much since I was a kid, it would be great to get into the field. Sure I cant program, but I could get into the marketing field or management. It sounds appealing but I don't know what to make of it.

College has been nothing but a waste of time if I decide to take the path of getting into game marketing/management etc... I never really bothered to do intense soul searching into what I wanted to do. Ive already spent 2, going on 3 years in college and have made very little progress. I'm pretty disappointed in myself with that aspect. I wish I would have done well in high school, that way I would be going to school someplace where I actually enjoyed myself, and major in something that really interests me. I hate being in this kind of conflict. Instability, and and uncertainty drive me crazy. I've been telling my parents a lie about the last 2-3 years, and I don't know what to tell them. I don't even know what to tell myself.. I can't stress how much I despise living here in Williamsport.

Anyways, things with me and Stevie are great, Ive been much happier since I've been with him, and things look good for the two of us.
21 June 2007 @ 10:51 pm
YO. Hostile corporate takeover, sponsored by rampart. Layout completely changed as well as several stupid things changed or removed. Why did I do this? Because everytime I check this page it looks like darkness and depression and blaaaah so I made it look pretty damn awesome if you ask me (STFU about the text i know, but the image is compressed).

Anyway, I love Tales very much, but I have other things to do too, you know!! So don't be fags y'all (well.... the only person on here is Buff anyway orzzz) and click it.


And if you're wandering here by mistakes ADD ME or I will never wear a dress again.

1. tales changed to tails. orz. should have just used keiko-chan
2. table widths fixed a bit so that the paragrpahs don't look funky anymore
3. image now interweb friendly and lacking in MSPAINT compression.
Current Music: Tackey & Tsubasa - Kamen
28 March 2007 @ 12:33 am

Video Sumamary:
TK makes the world a better place by twisting random shit, and by growing random Dx7`s everywhere..

I wonder why he choose the dx7? Its my synth :D what a dork. I`m sure it has something do with his TMN days.

and Zomg NYC in a day or so.